Having High Self Worth is Imperative to Your Success
A lack of self-esteem can be a challenging problem. It can impede one’s progress; it can affect one’s will to be successful or even achieving one’s dreams; and in some cases, it can curb a person’s ability to dream big – to think outside the box. Folks with low self-worth tend toward self-destructive relationships with other people and themselves. There are underlying reasons as to why people lose their confidence.
It is mainly caused by external social factors; society and our family relations are key. The manner in which we are brought up. Additionally, the media can play a contributory role in how we develop – how we esteem ourselves. The media has the capacity to provide the greatest impact on people.
Each one of us is exposed to media, and these advertisements (such as commercials, billboards, ads, etc) often inundate our minds with what beauty truly is, and therefore what acceptance is all about. We tend to compare ourselves to their bench mark of what is acceptable, and if we feel we do not meet up to these criterias, we feel bad about ourselves. It is then we have self-esteem issues.
As children, we never really care about what is and is not acceptable to society. We say what we want to say, do what we want to do, dress in a manner that pleases us; we are forming our own identities at this point. It does not matter to us what others think or if they attempt to project their values onto us; we simply hold steadfast and do not concern ourselves with what other kids think.
In other words, we created our own society – our own inner world. We truly didn’t care about what people thought. But somehow, as we grew older, we began to seek acceptance and even approval from the outside world. If we did not get this approval, it made a dent in our self-esteem.
Self esteem development starts from childhood. It is a parent’s duty to make his or her child feel special and unique. And contrary to criticizing or scolding the child for doing something wrong, it would help if we engage him or her in the task of solving their own problems. Do not tell them what to do, help them decide on what they think is best for them. This will help the child cultivate a sense of responsibility and control over his or her life. These traits are of primary importance in developing self-esteem.
A parent should also concentrate on the positive traits of his or her child. It is given that every one of us has our own good and bad sides, but focusing on the positive will encourage the child to bring out that trait more frequently if he or she sees that it is well appreciated. This practice can also be applied to adults. Focus on their good traits and in time, they will learn to bring that out more often.
Also, one of the things a parent should remember is to never, never compare siblings. Treat each child as an individual and focus on their strengths. Comparing siblings to one another will only succeed in bringing out the best in one child and the worst in the other. If the other sibling feels that he or she cannot match the “better” sibling, eventually he or she will give up trying, and grow content with being the “lesser” sibling.
Finally, train the child to love him or herself by feeling truly loved and accepted. Avoid judging him or her for their mistakes, rather, ask them what they could do differently in the future to improve things. This will give them the feeling that they are trusted. The more a child feels trusted, the higher his or her regard for his or herself will be.
To expound further upon the issue of self esteem development, I want you to consider the following (taken from a best selling book):
Do you have high self worth? If not, you may want to look deep inside yourself. For many people, finding the things that help them feel good about themselves can be a real challenge. It is as if they had blinders on that shut out all the bright spots. But there are plenty of people who see nothing but their bright spots. They think they are quite satisfactory as they are, and if anything is wrong, it is with somebody else, not them.
Of course. But they don’t really believe it. Those who are working that hard to convince themselves — and others — how great they are, are also shutting something out. They can’t see their faults because they’re afraid they’ve got nothing else. They think their choice is between being perfect and being the worst thing that ever lived.
The trouble is, it’s very hard to give up that way of looking at yourself, because it is based on refusing to look into yourself. And to change, you really must look into yourself to see what you’re doing wrong. You must be able to see the ways you’re pulling yourself down and decide that isn’t what you want to do. Then you can start doing the things that give you pride and pleasure in living.
Such as being aware of your own achievements. When you do something you are proud of, dwell on it a little. Praise yourself for it, relish the experience; take it in. We’re not used to doing that, for ourselves or for others. When things go wrong, they call attention to themselves. When things run well, we must actively bring them to our attention. It is up to us to give ourselves recognition. If we wait for it to come from others, we feel resentful when it doesn’t, and when it does, we may well reject it. It is NOT what others say to us that counts. We all love praise, but have you ever noticed how quickly the glow from a compliment wears off?
When we compliment ourselves, the glow stays with us. It is still good to hear it from others, but it doesn’t matter so much if we have already heard it from ourselves. This is the tragedy of some marvelous performers, who need endless applause to tell them how great they are, but who feel a chill as soon as they enter their dressing rooms. They have never heard it from themselves.
From the Book “How to Be Your Own Best Friend” by Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz – a former best seller valued by Rex Reed and Nora Ephron – it truly can help with self reflection.
– Jan Ashby
Self Improvement Info